He NEVER said this would be easy. He JUST said He would be there through it all

Final Days

Tears streaming down my face I race over to Lorraine’s apartment. “Oh boy”, she says, “I think it’s another I HATE YAP day…” All I can do is nod through the sobs. That was four months ago. And I can’t even begin with my attitude seven months ago. But now I look back with 8 days left and I can only focus on the smiles, joys, friendships and lessons learned.

Tonight was one of our last gatherings with everyone still on this tiny island. Mr. Alex leaves for Palau tonight, Jesse leaves on Wednesday and I leave on Sunday. I can’t believe it’s really over. We had a social night at the school and yet again it is left to last minute and I am asked to throw something together for about 60+ people of every age. I threw together a game of dodge ball with Brother George and twas a huge success. With a quick set up of the sound system I began the announcement of all participants to make their way to the stage/volleyball court. I explained the rules of “American dodge ball” and we began the festivities. There was only a minimal injury of my big toe bleeding all over the volleyball court and a few dodge balls to the face. Having to sit out the following games after my injury I watched as the church members young and old screaming, dodging, running, laughing and really enjoying the fresh night air together. It was one of those freeze frame moments where I almost have an out of body experience and all around me goes quiet like just watching a silent movie. My thoughts take the forefront and I look longingly at all these people that I have come to know and love as my second family away from home. We moved on to “local dodge ball” and I let George take over and explain the rules. This made me think of the countless lessons and things I have learned about this culture. Yap has a diverse and intense culture that I’ve really enjoyed learning about, sometimes through my own mistakes and mishaps unfortunately. They eat mangos green. Thus are made for style NOT comfort, since the grass pretty much makes it the most uncomfortable form of attire I can think of. Women don’t wear shirts. Taro is a staple food and must be eaten with your hands. Flowers all have a meaning. Lava Lavas represent different islands by what pattern or colors they are made out of. NEVER get sick because you do NOT want to have to go to Yap Memorial (murder) hospital. Most dogs in Yap are owned but still wander around like street puppies. You have to carry around a peace branch or woven basket whenever going through a village, especially at night. Men’s houses are for men only but a man can enter a woman’s koyeng whenever they please. Stone money is no longer used as currency but are placed outside houses and villages all over the island. Beetle nut is as wide spread as chewing gum and has to be the most disgusting habit I’ve ever seen. Driving in the back of a Japanese truck is never comfortable, no matter how you try to place your butt so it doesn’t fall asleep. Zero is said “jjeero”.  Fans are essential! (I’ve tried to sleep without one, not pleasant) Ramen is a staple supper food. Flip Flops are called slippers. Coconuts make great pe equipment. I’m sure there are thousands more and more to come in the next few days.

This year has been an absolute rollercoaster but pulling back into the stations as the breaks hiss and the seatbelts lift off I look back and smile at a wild ride. A ride only God could take me on and continue to take me through. I still have a lot of challenges ahead but I feel like I’ve matured more in the last few months in my spiritual life then in all my previous years. I can say I’ve grown through the tears, lived through the sleepless nights and argued with God in the early mornings.

I’ve been clearing out my hard drive this past week and really looking back at past events. Not only from yap but especially my Southern years. But what it really has made me do is to appreciate where I’m at. At every point in my life I have been looking towards something else or looking forward to a different time. I never lived in the moment. And the same is here in Yap. Now looking back I wish to freeze time and I’ve come to dread the day I board the plane to leave. I am anxious to get home, no questions there but these people have found a place in my heart and I will forever appreciate the relationships I’ve made here.

The office has been super busy this past week but not so much having to do with the secretary desk, hence my current position. Lorraine has been running around trying to get things done for final accounts, board meeting and juggling so many other teaching and office responsibilities. Andrea has been getting the grades ready, diplomas for 8^th and 12^th grades, fighting our awful office printer and entertaining the crazy kindergarteners for the afternoon. AS for me I’ve been answering phones, ringing the bell but more importantly being able to really talk with the students who come into the office for various reasons. I’ve realized even thought I’m not in the classroom there is a lot that I can do these last few days to soak them (the students) all up before I have to say goodbye forever. These students are such a joy and can really make me laugh over what they say and do. Especially the high schoolers and I really miss teaching them PE.  They could make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry and feel sorry for myself. I’ve seen them grow and mature throughout this year and am so privileged to have a small part in their 2011-2012 school year. I love these kids.

So in eight days I leave. I get home and I am excited. Bittersweet goodbyes but sweet hellos J.